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  1. #1
    Inactive Member imported_elp6n's Avatar
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    Hormones. An informational post.

    Hormones

    The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of very husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
    SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
    SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
    SAFER: What did I do wrong?
    SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
    SAFER: I hope you didn't over do it today.
    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

    13 Things PMS Stands For:
    1. Pass My Shotgun
    2. Psychotic Mood Shift
    3. Perpetual Munching Spree
    4. Puffy Mid-Section
    5. People Make me Sick
    6. Provide Me with Sweets
    7. Pardon My Sobbing
    8. Pimples May Surface
    9. Pass My Sweat pants
    10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
    11. Plainly; Men Suck
    12. Pack My Stuff......

    ..And my favorite one...

    13. Potential Murder Suspect

    Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a ! good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

    You'll shoot your eye out.

    [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/elp6n/santa.jpg[/img]

  2. #2
    Inactive Member centennialdawg's Avatar
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    Re: Hormones. An informational post.

    LOL, at one time, there would be someone PMS'ing at my house every week of the year. Me and D.J. would have to leave home. IT WAS VERY DANGEROUS FOR US!!

  3. #3
    Inactive Member imported_MoonlightGraham's Avatar
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    Re: Hormones. An informational post.

    is the mood swings caused by the shift in estrogen?
    [img]http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i42/stinmeister/untitled-2.jpg[/img]

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    Inactive Member imported_elp6n's Avatar
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    Re: Hormones. An informational post.

    http://women.webmd.com/guide/premenstrual-syndrome
    All men should be required to study this and pass a thorough exam before being permitted to enter into any relationship (assuming he'd even want to after knowing everything). [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    Your Guide to Premenstrual Syndrome
    Premenstrual syndrome, commonly called PMS, is a medical condition that has symptoms that affect many women of childbearing age. PMS can cause a variety of physical and psychological symptoms that occur just before your menstrual period.

    The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology defines PMS as "The cyclic occurrence of symptoms that are sufficiently severe to interfere with some aspects of life, and that appear with consistent and predictable relationship to the menses [menstrual period]."

    What Causes PMS?
    The exact cause of PMS is unknown, but it seems to be related to the fluctuating levels of hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, that occur in preparation for menstruation.

    What Are the Symptoms of PMS?
    There are many symptoms of PMS, and the number and severity of symptoms vary from woman to woman. In addition, the severity of the symptoms can vary from month to month. Common symptoms of PMS include:

    Bloating
    Breast tenderness
    Weight gain
    Aggression
    Trouble concentrating
    Headaches/backaches
    Food cravings/overeating
    Fatigue
    Tearfulness
    Irritability
    Anxiety
    Mood swings and/or depression
    Up to 85% of menstruating women experience some of these symptoms related to their period, while only 2-10% experience severe symptoms.

    How Is PMS Diagnosed?
    There is no single test to diagnose PMS. However, there are some strategies your doctor may use to help make the diagnosis, these include:

    Thyroid test. Because thyroid disease is common in women of childbearing age, and some of the symptoms of PMS -- such as weight gain -- are similar to symptoms of thyroid disease, your doctor may do a test to evaluate how well your thyroid is functioning. This can help to rule out a thyroid problem as a cause of your symptoms.

    PMS symptoms diary. Your doctor may ask you to keep a diary of your symptoms for two or three consecutive months, when they occur, and how long they last. By doing this, you can see if your symptoms correspond to certain times in your monthly cycle. While your symptoms may vary from month to month, a trend likely will appear after tracking your symptoms for a few months.

    According to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, you have PMS if:

    Your symptoms occur during the last two weeks of your menstrual cycle (the two weeks before your period).
    Your symptoms impair your quality of life.
    Your doctor has excluded other conditions that cause similar symptoms. Those conditions include thyroid disease, depression, migraine headaches, irritable bowel syndrome and chronic fatigue syndrome.

    Can PMS Be Prevented?
    PMS itself cannot be prevented, but through education and appropriate treatment of symptoms, most women can find relief. A healthy lifestyle -- including exercise, adequate rest and a proper diet -- also can help a woman better manage the symptoms of PMS.

    How Is PMS Treated? (I'll add here: easier said than done!!)
    Treatment for PMS is based on relieving symptoms. Treatment begins with a thorough assessment of your symptoms, as well as their impact on your daily life. Treatments for PMS include the following:

    Education. You will be better able to deal with your symptoms if you can relate how you're feeling to your menstrual cycles, knowing that you will feel better once your period starts. Keeping a monthly symptom diary will help you track your symptoms, as well as their severity and how long they last. While symptoms may vary from month to month, this diary can give you a good idea of how your periods affect your physical health and moods. Learning how to cope with the problems in your life may help relieve the stress and irritability you feel before your period. If you experience severe anxiety, irritability or depression, counseling and/or medication may be helpful.

    Nutrition. A healthy diet is important to overall physical and mental wellness. Making changes in your diet -- including reducing the amount of caffeine, salt and sugar you eat -- may help relieve symptoms of PMS. In some cases, nutritional supplements may be recommended. These include vitamin B6, vitamin E, calcium and magnesium. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology recommends a diet high in complex carbohydrates.

    Exercise. Like a healthy diet, regular exercise, especially aerobic exercise like walking, can improve your overall health. It also can help relieve and help you cope with the monthly symptoms associated with PMS.

    Medications. Over-the-counter nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) -- such as aspirin, ibuprofen (Advil) and naproxen (Aleve) -- may help relieve symptoms such as headache, backache, cramps, and breast tenderness. Medications may be prescribed in cases of severe depression or anxiety. Certain antidepressants may be useful to treat severe PMS. Oral contraceptives have been prescribed to treat PMS and may be helpful, but there is little data to support their effectiveness. The diuretic spironolactone (available by prescription) can reduce the fluid retention of PMS.
    Many small studies have looked at the use of natural progesterone, primrose oil, black cohosh, wild yam root, chaste tree fruit, [censored] quai and vitamin B6 to relieve PMS symptoms. So far, these have been found to be ineffective or of limited benefit and are not recommended.

    Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Urological Institute.

    You'll shoot your eye out.

    [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/elp6n/santa.jpg[/img]

  5. #5
    Inactive Member jtw61194's Avatar
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    Re: Hormones. An informational post.

    So, if I study this stuff and have an appropriate supply of chocolate, will it go away? I'm asking...I'm a man you know. We don't do "women stuff" too good. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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    Inactive Member imported_elp6n's Avatar
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    Re: Hormones. An informational post.

    Things will swing in your favor if you have an appropriate supply. It will never just "go away."
    Fair warning.


    [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
    You'll shoot your eye out.

    [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/elp6n/santa.jpg[/img]

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    Inactive Member Unchained's Avatar
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    Re: Hormones. An informational post.

    female chemistry chart
    [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/elp6n/signature.jpg[/IMG]
    Central Warriors. Respect the past,embrace the future

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